for cdb

i am falling in love with the way you see the world around you. the way you talk about mundane things yet make them sound so beautiful. but you don’t see yourself in that way and it breaks my heart. i just wish you could see yourself the way i see you…

i picture a house

a white house

with a light blue door

just like your eyes

then i see you

in a flimsy shirt

with candy like colors

buttoned up to your neck

sitting on the porch

on a rainy day in july

with a cloud of mist

tracing your face

my lips then crave the taste of yours

crave the innocent touch

you place on me

always soft

like a feather running down your spine

we sit there

legs tangled like a wandering labyrinth

flipping through the pages of an old book

you read it aloud

words dribbling out of your mouth

licking your lips

in between

the paragraphs

and the pages

i watch as you speak

as you take pauses to breathe

your big blue eyes look out at the rain

at the world beyond this house that we built

and their filled with a frenzy of wants

and of needs

of rage and anger, of sadness and love

a boiling pot of tenderness

you feel so inclined to hide

you love so much

yet never say it

your heart dances in the streets

when you see something that amazes you

just the mere change of colors in the sky

from darken nights to pastel mornings

you can’t help but want to smile

to rejoice in the subtle moment

but you keep it all in

your lips stay pressed

closed shut

teeth yearning for the wave of air to hit them

but you stay bare faced and monotone

pretending it's no concern to you

but i know it makes you feel

i know you want to feel

you find everything so beautiful

you can see beauty in things that i can’t

the way a dull leaf may fall

off of an old tree

you find so alluring

so enthralled by its life

by its death

and by the way the wind carried it

miles away

i never noticed this before

before i met you

the way someone can have this fire

just building up inside of them

that never seems to be put out

the way your hands touch a pen

as if it was a silk dress embroidered in gold

or the way you look at art

pictures of unknown people and unknown places

as if nothing could compare

but you won’t let me know this

you speak in words that seem meaningless

seem dull

but have life i cannot even begin to touch

yet still

i can picture us running through grassy fields

up mountains with no names

into woods where secrets are hidden

holding hands as we follow no path

laughing when flowers are placed behind our ears

and we lay next to each other

hidden in the grass

until the sun goes down again

and your mind travels to see the shooting stars

that are so faint

only your eyes can find

yet you try and show me

pointing fingers

to places

to things i could never even imagine existed

i still picture a house

i do

a white house

with a light blue door

that are just like your eyes

but without you

it is nothing

without you the world seems less alive

the house becomes blurred

clouding my sight

but with you the house is real

radiant even when the lights go out

and i see us

sitting on our porch

reading a book aloud

your fragile voice

trembling with every word

on a rainy day in july

with a cloud of mist

and my lips

tracing your face

trying to show you love

the way your heart adores

the things that i alone

cannot explain