come over... if you want

So picture this, I am out with friends, and as much fun as I am having, my drunk ass really just wants to be next to the guy thats circling my thoughts. I have a crush of course, it’s not the kind of crush that meets the friends, or that comes out with you, but the kind that you want to sleep next to after the night ends. The kind where after your last drink, you both text each other, yes in a booty call type manner but also because all you want is to be laying next to them when you are both hungover and about to order mountains of food to replenish your hunger. That kind of crush. So you get a text from them, and your heart speeds up a bit, just at them saying the words “hey lady”. You have a little banter back and forth, and then the conversation of meeting up begins. Now something as simple as this doesn’t need to be overthought, but when they say “well come over if you’d like” your heart no longer is speeding up, your smile converts back to the poorly mixed drink in your hand, and you feel, to put it simply, unwanted. I mean this person clearly wanted to see you, they texted you, so why couldn’t they just say it? Now this can also apply of course to more serious crushes, the crushes that do come out and meet your friends, the crushes that turn into relationships, the crushes that meet the family. Even in those scenarios, this whole “unwanted” phenomenon still comes up. I mean I was dating a boy for months, and he would barely just say the words “I want you to hang out with you”. It was always the whole “whatever I guess” or “yeah I mean, if that's what you want”. I mean, cool, I didn’t ask that, I want to know what you want, but clearly it’s not seeing  me…? This got me thinking about why it’s so hard for people to tell someone what they want?. Is it really that hard to tell someone you want them to stay? Or that you want to see them? Is it really so much better to say “I mean if you want” or “I don’t care it’s up to you” I get people want to be nonchalant, want to keep their feelings this big unknown secret, but that my friends is called, being a damn coward. I know I have talked about telling someone you care about them if you do, or that you love them, but I have been noticing it’s not just the “important” feelings we are hiding, but also the more mundane ones, if you will. I mean telling me “I don’t care it’s up to you” about coming over to see you, is not something I want to hear. Yeah sure, it may sound like nothing to get worked up over, but showing the smallest bit of excitement goes a long way. Why can’t this ~crush~, big or small, just say the words, I want you to come over.  I want them to tell me they  want to see me, if they in fact, want to see me. I want to hear that wow, after this long day of work or long night out, the person I like, actually wants to see me, whether it be for a minute or the rest of the night. It matters. Those little “mundane” things that you don’t realize people care about, matter. If you want to talk to someone, just do it, if you want to see someone, tell them, why would you wait around, and act like you are “above” telling someone these things? I want to feel ~wanted~ and that’s not too much to ask. That’s a bare minimum really. I mean if someone is interested me shouldn’t they show it? If you want something or someone, say it, and show it. Don’t make people guess, and don’t make them  feel like if you hang out, it’s not even something that you necessarily wanted. So many times I see people settling for these guys and girls who make them feel like they are less than nothing, who don’t make them feel wanted, and that’s just fucking sad (even more sad because I do this ALL the time). If you don’t feel wanted, I guarantee there are so many other people out there who want you and will make that known. Just saying the words “I want to see you”, as ~scary~ as that may be for people, makes a huge difference. I guess I just want myself and the people around me to say what they are feeling, and not wait around or hide behind these bullshit lines that convey mere truths. If you want to see someone, tell them, if you want them to come over, say it, if you miss them, tell them (ugh this one hurts but stiiiilllll). It’s really not so scary, soo terrifying to tell someone that you want to see them, when, get this, you actually ~want~ to see them??? Making the person that you want, or like, or care about feel wanted, is really not that hard.