i went to another state, to meet a boy from... TINDER! !

One of the things I have done in my life, that could’ve easily gone SO SO poorly, aka could've ended in death quite possibly, was go to another state, to MEET a boy, that I matched with on Tinder. Let me give you a little back story though before you think I am a complete and utter moron. So as I have said before I’m not the one night stand, tinder, booty call type of person, but I was intrigued by the whole concept. My friends had used Tinder, and it worked out quite well, so why not give it a try? I also was in a place where I wanted to just fuck around, have fun, not have a boyfriend. So last summer I was swiping away, and then I see this boy who is my type to a damn T, so I swipe right, and we match. I wasn’t really used to Tinder so I of course got all giddy when we matched. We start talking and he explains how he is only in Boston for a few weeks, staying at home with the fam, then moving away for work. We talk for a bit, exchange numbers, follow each other on social media, and snapchat here and there. He leaves, and I truly thought that was the last of him. A few months go by, more snapchats here and there, I slide into his dm’s on instagram, to show him something that reminded me of him (lol as if I even know the guy). He replies to some of my stories, I reply to his, it’s all casual fun and games. Eventually  we start talking everyday via instagram and snapchat, constantly sending memes, the classic way that people flirt these days. Texts? No one does that anymore, thats crazy to even think that someone would text your phone after getting your number, that is a ~wild~ thought.

We develop this flirty lil relationship and we both felt like we ~knew~ each other well enough and wanted to finally meet. NOW listen, I probably sound like an idiot, I know, and I don’t normally condone this kind of reckless careless, one could even call “stupid” behavior, because sometimes this could truly end in some catfish, murder type bullshit, for me it worked out really well, but that's not always the case, so maybe don’t follow my lead on this one… ANYWAY, my friend Emma recently moved to Philly, which is where this Tinder boy, we will call him, Adam, also happened to live, in my mind, everything was aligning… So my friends and I had been planning on visiting Emma, so why not kill two birds with one stone, visit Adam as well. I told my friends about Adam, but left out the whole I never really met him bit. I told them we met on tinder, but how we already met in person and that this was not an absolutely crazy ballsy thing to do. They all agreed and we decided to take a trip to Philly. I take the train in the morning because I didn’t have work that day, and they all leave Boston after work. There I am sitting alone on this train, staring out the window as we leave the city behind, with no care in the world . Eventually though, as we got closer and closer to the destination my heart started racing. I mean I was about to meet some random dude that sure I talked to, but never met, what the hell was I thinking. All of a sudden the train pulls to a dramatic stop (at least that’s how it felt), and over the speaker it says “Philadelphia” over and over. So I quickly pack up my things, almost trip in the aisle, and rush off onto the platform. I looked like a damn mess. I circled around frantically trying to get myself together, then finally called an uber and told Adam I was on my way to his home. I was so fucking nervous, my hands were shaking, I was definitely sweating, and I wouldn’t stop talking to my uber driver. When I’m nervous I talk more than when I’m not, so I assume my uber rating soared down after this drive.

We pull up to Adams house, I get out and literally want to just run back into the car and go home, but alas, the car drove away, so there I was, standing in the middle of the sidewalk, two bags, and regretting my subpar decision making. The second though I knocked on the door, and he opened it, I felt relieved. For starters I wasn't catfished!!! Mini success I’d say. We then sat two couches apart and started talking, and it didn’t feel like we just met, he seemed totally normal, and exactly like the guy I had been talking to for the past few months. All my worries went away, we had so much in common, and I didn’t feel uncomfortable at all. He even got me whiskey, after I told him it was my favorite. So we start drinking, talking more, then we go hang out with his friends. We were a lot more similar than I expected, and seemed really compatible. Our conversations didn’t have those awkward silences or weird pauses that you would expect. We got drunk, did a lot of unspeakable drugs, then went back to his house to listen to music and drink a lil more. We got into the uber and he put his hand on my leg, and for some reason, it felt really ~right~. Stupid simple word to describe what I was feeling, sure, but I guess it didn’t feel like we had just met, it felt like we were dating forever, or at least friends forever, and I truly appreciate that feeling. The easiness of meeting someone, as if you always knew them, hearing their stories, and talking to them for hours without pauses, and feeling so damn comfortable. The feeling of comfortability, especially in this time and our hookup culture is so rare. We get back to his house and he FINALLY kisses me. The kind of kiss that makes you want more, the kind of kiss that you feel throughout your entire body, the kind of kiss that you’ll never forget.

I said to him “Wow took you long enough” and he literally said “I didn’t want to expect anything, I was just excited to see you”. I mean sure, maybe that was just a line, he was a frat boy in college after all, but it got me, it got me goooood. We spent the rest of the night talking, then eventually having amazing sex, and by amazing I mean amazing. This guy made me cum without any direction. And I know, guys shouldn’t get praised for the small/normal things they should always be doing, but from my experience with men, this was a pretty amazing thing. The next day we talked, and drank, met up with my friends, had a damn day on the town. Everything was perfect. My friends loved him, he loved them, he was so kind and smart, and I seriously just loved being around him. He was the kind of person that even if you were sad or upset about anything, somehow he could make you happy. I would be sitting across the room from him, look over, our eyes would lock, and I just couldn’t help but smile (ew I hate myself for writing that and how gross that sounds, but it's the truth, even writing this now and thinking about him is making me smile)(ew).

We ended up hanging with my friends most of the night, at an apartment, then bar, then apartment, the usual. I remember this one moment out of the night, like it had just happened, a Mamma Mia song came on, and he pulled me over to him, and danced with me, and sang every.single.word, and we both were laughing and singing, and holding onto one another. I feel like with every person I meet I have a special memory or moment that I think of when I think of them, and that was that moment. I felt so free, and happy, and nothing could fuck that up. We ended up leaving when everyone wanted to keep drinking. We put on cozy clothes, made a pizza and cuddled up in his bed. Again, we had incredible sex, I don’t know something about him and me both intellectually and physically we are so compatible, and it's sad how that doesn’t happen that often. The next morning we stayed in bed, eating cold pizza, getting high, and watching cartoons. We had sex, then just laid there in each others arms until the moment came, that it was time for me to leave. It hurt. Him driving me back to my friends, knowing I was leaving. That this was just a blimp in time, a small fraction of our lives, that was over. I spent a weekend with this guy, fucking, and talking, getting to know him, and learning all about his life, and I just wanted it to keep going. We said our goodbyes, and then he drove away.

I got back to Boston, and I didn’t plan to still be thinking about him, but I was. I couldn’t stop thinking about our weekend, about the way he kissed me or how our hands somehow fit perfectly together, or about the way he would get drunk and tell me these lame dad jokes, that ~actually~ made me laugh. I thought to myself, if this boy was in the same state as me, I would date him, he seemed like my fucking soulmate. I had this idea that maybe he felt the same way, that maybe we could do long distance, or somehow be together, but realistically that wasn’t going to happen. Timing is not always on your side, but thats okay. I mean he lived states away, was just starting his new life as a recent graduate, and I was still in school, not really knowing what the hell my plan was. As much as I wanted him, I knew that this was not the time for us. I do like to believe that if someone is meant to be in your life, or something is ~meant~ to happen, then it eventually will… (i hope).

I still think about him a lot, and about that weekend we spent together. I have met a lot of people, and fallen for a lot of guys who ended up being nothing more than a phase, but Adam was different, he always will be different. It makes me sad knowing that most of the people I find to be so special, live so damn far from me and its like WHHHYYYY???? Adam made me realize how good people can be, and how good “relationships” can be. Yeah we spent a weekend together, it was not a relationship, but in that time, he treated me better than pretty much any guys before him, he was respectful and caring, he made me feel special, and I guess it helped me realize that I need to stop settling. I want that “can’t eat, can’t sleep, never forget kinda kiss” feeling with someone. I want the fairytale, and the passion, not the guy who doesn’t text me back. Even if Adam and my time was nothing more than a weekend romance, I wouldn’t go back to the mediocre guys I was letting into my life before I met him.

Lastly, this whole post does not mean you should ever go to another state to meet a guy you met on the internet, I tend to make stupid ass decisions, yet somehow I am still alive, thank goodness, but yeah don’t do what I did,  please, it is not smart. Thank goodness Adam wasn’t some psycho who wanted to murder me, but he easily could've been (ha).

Okay I have talked your damn ear off, enough for today, I should really get back to work, because I am at work not doing work and I think my boss might actually fire me one of these days, love you all.

-t