i wrote abt skinny boys who didn't love me

for days i wrote 

poems

and stories on pages 

never ending chapters

about skinny boys 

who would never love me 

never feel the ache in their chest

when their eyes met mine

yet i sat there in pain 

as they stared at me blankly 

i wasn’t a person

not to them

just a body

bare of all matter

lacking any of their regard

thrown around 

like bottles of beers 

in an apartment

that had blue lights

and a bed thrown on the floor

while they wasted space in my mind

in my heart on the page 

holding back tears 

that would break through my eyes 

when i look at them feeling nothing 

nothing but regret 

always wishing it was you

longing for you 

but picturing you in love

with someone that wasn’t me

so i say a brief goodbye

to the boys whose names i can’t remember

leaving my lips to wander 

eyes to close 

to sit outside

on a rainy sidewalk street 

naked of all the people that i missed

just wishing i was back

back in your arms

on the bed in the corner 

on that fleeting summer day